Finding the Sweet Spot

Finding the Sweet Spot

How Serving Others and Oneself Leads to
Open Doors, Sustainability, and Balance

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

-Howard Thurman

If you are like most humans, you are likely concerned with living a meaningful and impactful life.  Inevitably, at some point you are going to be faced with the question of “What path to take?”  We are faced with an overwhelming amount of choices at every step in our lives.  Choosing a path is enough to elicit anxiety in even the most stoic among us!  We hear the wisdom of our sages urging us to serve others, rebuke material gain, and make an impact, while our current dominant culture can endorse opulence, 70-hour workweeks, and worldly power as the right path.  The conflicting messages can sometimes paralyze us in our search for purpose and make determining the “right” path a seemingly impossible task.

In my work as an educator at The Pioneer Project, I try to help students work through these difficult questions.  One way I have helped students identify potential paths is by showing them the diagram pictured here.  In this diagram, I endorse “The Middle Way” that keeps us from sliding too far toward either end of the spectrum. 

I use the word “good” to describe activities and philosophies that yield fulfillment, joy, justice, health, and vitality.  You may find that over time, things that feel undoubtedly “good” to you are those that promote these values in the wider community, like eating sustainably farmed food, exercising, spending time in nature, and cultivating mindfulness.  Identifying those things that are truly good for you and for others will take ample experience and reflection, but it is integral to the process of choosing a life path!

In this model, sliding too far to the “Good For Me” side of things can lead to a life of self-absorption and greed and sliding too far to the “Good For Others” side can result in a lack of self-care and eventual burnout. There is no shortage of celebrities and public figures that glamorize the extremes of the self-serving side of the spectrum.  You will see that the model I propose implies that a life in service of others in some way is essential to reach the Sweet Spot, so I am dismissing those self-serving folks as caricatures of misguided success.  If you are stuck on this side of the spectrum, it may be helpful to go volunteer, help a friend, mentor a young person, travel to economically depressed regions of the world, or somehow immerse yourself in the service of others to discover its merits!

However, it is also essential that we do the reflection to figure out what really is good for our soul, healthy for our bodies, and what reasonable luxuries matter to us.  If we neglect our own needs, we cannot fully realize our potential to serve others and be the most effective versions of ourselves.  Take the proverbial advice of the flight attendant and, “Put on your own oxygen mask before you help your neighbor.”  This is a reasonable selfishness that is taught in any emergency medical course because you can’t truly help anyone (for very long, anyway!) if you are neglecting your own safety, health, or sanity.  This lesson is highly pertinent to our choice of our life’s path as well.  If we are truly going to “change the world” as most of us aspire to do, we must consider the options that best match our competencies and passions while meeting our physical, spiritual, and emotional needs.

For me, it was always tempting to slide to the other side of the spectrum – “Good for Others.”  For whatever reason, I told myself the story that radical altruism was the only righteous path.  As a young man, I was saddened by the injustices in our world and was fervently committed to serving others – especially in the developing world.  This led to service-oriented trips to over 15 countries and a slough of powerful learning experiences.  Over time, it occurred to me that I had some interesting motives behind my desire to serve others.  I discovered that part of it stemmed from a lack of self-love, a misconception about “needy” people, and a desperate anxiety about the state of the world.  As it turns out, the world is actually pretty amazing and the folks I thought I needed to save actually saved me in many ways by showing me another way of life in contrast with my own culture.  I also learned through working with the some of the wealthiest and poorest students in the world that crises exist in every part of the socioeconomic spectrum and that all people need a listening ear, a helping hand, and a caring friend.  So, if you find yourself on this side of the spectrum, move closer to the Sweet Spot by ensuring that your activities in service are a personal passion, respectful of those you hope to serve, and feed your vitality.  Though it is honorable to “fight the good fight” and neglect our own needs for a time, over the long haul it can be unsustainable and lead to burnout, compassion fatigue, and other crises of the spirit.

When we find the activities and interests that rest in the Sweet Spot intersection and focus our energy on those pursuits, the world tends to conspire on our behalf to reveal open doors we never noticed before.  Why might this be?  I believe that humans are inspired by those leaders who have devoted their lives to an altruistic pursuit, but still take the time to cultivate health and happiness in their own lives – tending responsibly to their internal flame so they don’t burn out.  These on-lookers can become collaborators by offering their help along the way when you are in need (i.e. "The world conspiring on your behalf.").  Living a life in service of others and that honors your own needs is a tricky endeavor, but is certainly possible and is the most direct path towards a sustainably positive, balanced lifestyle.

So, take the time to fill out this diagram for yourself.  What interests and options fit on one side or the other, and which ones fall in “The Sweet Spot?”  Often, it takes a leap of faith and a good deal of effort to re-orient our lives towards the Sweet Spot, but I believe this effort is well worth it!

Adam Haigler is the Co-founder and Director of The Pioneer Project, an educational immersion program for college-age students that focuses on sustainable living, traditional craft, and outdoor leadership in western North Carolina.  Learn more at www.pioneerproject.org

A Grand Adventure

The first semester of The Pioneer Project was quite a learning experience for everyone! It began with four students from all over the country and a staff team of four from similarly dispersed locales. For Allison and I, it was the realization of a ten-year dream and proved to be a remarkable pilot semester.

After the student’s arrival and brief orientation, we embarked on a four-day expedition. We chose an ambitious route that gave us the opportunity to scale mountains, hike high altitude enchanted ridges, be immersed in one of the last remaining old growth hardwood forests of the Southeast, and make acquaintance with some particularly curious and precious baby squirrels who would not leave us alone! For some of our students, this was the first time they had ever slept outside, pooped in the woods, and carried their world on their backs. It was quite the experience for us all and helped us develop new friendships as well as getting a sense of the Southern Appalachian ecosystem.

Upon returning to the homestead, the students started plugging away at tasks in the garden. After some quick introductions to soil, composting, planting, watering, and garden tools, our students helped tend a wide variety of crops that we integrated into meals throughout the semester. We were particularly fond of including the various lettuces into our salads and were deeply gratified to watch the seeds grow into healthy food producing plants. Within the first couple of weeks, a professional chef introduced our students to some techniques for using our local seasonal vegetables and gave them a chance to learn how to make the classic southern dish of fried green tomatoes! As fall marched on, our students became the chefs and even planned the menus for the last month of the program. Though our vegetable rich diet was difficult for some students to adjust to at first, we were told that it definitely helped expand their dietary horizons and instilled some healthy eating habits.

We kicked off our craft classes with herbal first aid, bookbinding, and blacksmithing, which resulted in some interesting creations by our students. Nate’s Mr. Rogers-themed journal was a real hit among the students, and probably inspired some interesting journal entries for him.

For our second expedition (herbal first aid kits in hand!), we embarked on a water-based adventure to Lake Hiwassee, a huge local reservoir surrounded by wilderness. Words can hardly describe the beauty and tranquility of that expedition, but I’ll try anyway. The emerald green lake and bright blue skies juxtaposed the red clay shores of the lake in picturesque scenes as far as the eye could see as we paddled our canoes through the placid waters. It was poetic indeed. We camped for three nights, the last of which culminated in a gorgeous sunset over the lake as we devoured our perfectly prepared pita pizzas (thanks Evan!) and chatted about our lives during our “life stories” activity. After the second expedition, the students began to take further ownership over the semester and increasingly completed their chores around the homestead independently. Our craft classes continued with some really fun pottery workshops at a local potter’s studio that resulted in some beautiful hand-built bowls and plenty of creative expression. Our students also got to use some of the herbs from our farm to make herbal soaps intended to nourish their skin and titillate the senses.

In addition to tending our own food crops, students also got to meet some local farmers and assist them with a massive garlic planting operation at Candy Mountain Farm – one of the farms that instigated the organic movement in this region years 30 years before it was cool to be organic. They also got to interact with the delightful goat inhabitants at a local goat dairy that makes the most fantastic cheeses in the area. To further introduce students to a new relationship with food through the local food movement, we visited an urban farm in Atlanta to show that not all food comes from the rural areas and that urban farms can play an important role in bringing local food to the masses.

Our third expedition introduced students to the stellar rock climbing of the area at Looking Glass Rock. The huge granite dome there provides endless climbing opportunities and proved to be a great confidence builder for our students, none of whom had climbed on real rock before. Lian was particularly smitten with this new sport and hopes to continue pursuing it in the future. The expedition finished with a mountain bike ride outside Asheville, NC. This served as a solid introduction to the sport, which we further explored back near the homestead by riding the excellent singletrack trails along the shores of Lake Chatuge.

Meanwhile, back at the homestead, the crops were looking lush after the students’ fastidious tending and we were able to include about a dozen veggies from our garden in our meals. With the garden under control, the students started turning their attention to more craft and building projects. They took a prominent role in building an outhouse for the homestead (yes, we still use outhouses sometimes) which will house a composting toilet. Though the outhouse has yet to be christened, this group of students has left a lasting legacy for the Pioneer Project that people for years to come will be able to meditate on! Hah!

The last few craft workshops were a blast! Students made felted hats, quilted pillows, and leather pouches under the tutelage of our local crafters. Everyone was particularly fond of Lou’s felt hat, which made him look quite debonair.

As the semester moved towards its final weeks, the students turned their attention to the last expedition, which was completely planned and executed by them. They put their newfound wilderness skills to use by planning a backpacking route, designing the menu, and becoming the instructors for a 4-day hike in a different section of where they had gone on their first expedition. It was as cold as it was beautiful out there in mid-November and proved to be a challenging expedition that was ultimately triumphant for our students and ended with a celebratory dinner at a Mexican restaurant. As it turns out, we all agreed that Mexican food is 500% better after wilderness expeditions. Upon our return, we tied up loose ends at the homestead, gave each other feedback, sang a few songs, and shared a final feast with our community. Our students packed their bags and we all said teary goodbyes as the sun set on the first semester of the Pioneer Project.

We are so thankful to have shared this experience with Lian, Lou, Evan, and Nate and wish you all the very best wherever your journeys may lead. We look forward to this year, which will hold three more programs at the Pioneer Project, and will surely provide many more colorful memories for everyone involved!

Posted by Adam Haigler

The Pioneer Project is a Gap Year Program in the USA that focuses on Homesteading, Craft, and Wilderness skills that aims to help students achieve clarity of purpose, empowerment and a sense of interdependence through community-oriented semester programs.

Many Hands in a Season of Preparation

What a busy summer it has been!  It’s been so much so that we’ve completely neglected to keep our blog up to date, so we have plenty to share.

From late spring through early summer, Lane’s End Homestead has been host to three lovely interns who have taken the time and interest to learn about growing vegetables throughout the season in addition to growing, processing, using medicinal plants from the garden.  Despite all the rain we’ve had, we’ve been enjoying the bounty of the summer harvest, which has provided us with so much squash, beautiful heirloom tomatoes, onions, garlic, delectable little cucumbers, daily salads, plenty of basil and wild herbs for pesto, fresh out of the ground potatoes, and dry beans for storage.  All this would have not been possible without the help of these friends, and we are so thankful to have been able to produce so much that it has allowed us to have an ample supply of preserved food for fall.  We’ll be reminiscing about summer as we continue to enjoy the pasta sauces, pestos, dilly beans, and kimchi we’ve put up, along with the squash we froze and the beans, potatoes, and garlic that we’ve kept aside.  These crops have carried us through August and have since been transitioning the garden for the cooler weather crops, like dark leafy greens and root veggies.

 

Outside the garden, we’ve also been blessed with abundance from the fundraising campaign we launched through Indiegogo to outfit our expeditions.  With the tremendous help, support, and generosity of contributors, we raised $2882, along with some used gear people have sent, which has allowed us to fully meet our backpacking needs and has outfitted the majority of our paddling department.  We are so thrilled and grateful to all the folks that have expressed so much support and belief in our mission.  Thank you.  For those who contributed for perks, you can expect your gifts to be delivered in November.

And of course, we’ve been had student enrollment on our minds as all of this work has been in preparation for a house full of enthusiastic program participants for this fall season.  We are so pleased to have a keen group of students for the fall semester!  We’re also excited to share that we’ve hired on a fabulous team to work with them in the garden and out in the wilderness.  Jackie brings tremendous experience and energy to the Pioneer Project as Wilderness and Homestead Educator and Director of Operations.  Kate is a returnee to Lane’s End who knows the community well and brings a wealth of garden experience and joy to share as Garden and Homestead Educator.  Adam and Allison will continue to be involved with the program as Director of Leadership and Director of Homesteading and Craft, as Adam will join Jackie on the wilderness trips while Allison teaches many of the craft workshops.  These workshops will also be taught by our talented guest instructors, whose fascinating biographies are up on the website.  Please visit pioneerproject.org/#!guest-instructors/c110u to learn more about them.

Additionally, we’ve recently developed a relationship with Young Harris College who is lending us additional support via their internship program.  We are delighted to have these college students join us in the garden -  the more the merrier, and many hand make light work.  They have also helped us keep our supporters updated as we progress through the semester by photo documenting many of our harvests and processes.

And with all those things going on, we’ve made it to September.  What an exciting time!  The students have arrived and are already on their first expedition, getting better acquainted with each other and the natural beauty that surrounds them as they backpack through the old growth trees of Joyce Kilmer Memorial Forest.

Posted by Allison Haigler

The Pioneer Project is a Gap Year Program in the USA that focuses on Homesteading, Craft, and Wilderness skills that aims to help students achieve clarity of purpose, empowerment and a sense of interdependence through community-oriented semester programs.

Stuck in the Wilderness

Over the years, I have come to realize that I can no longer be separated from wilderness for very long before I become overwhelmingly agitated and anxious. This isn’t to say that I’ve always lived in the wilderness, by any means, but is to say that it has become a sacred place of reflection, learning, and refreshment for me that is unmatched by anything else I have encountered. I suspect that if you’re reading this, you may have a similar feeling about its power, even if you haven't yet articulated your thoughts about it.

It's very interesting that wilderness is viewed with a somewhat fearful fascination by many folks. It is the blank canvas for an imagination to run wild in many respects because it is vast, mysterious, and full of creatures outside our normal realm of experience. Yet, once we transcend these fears and decide to acquaint ourselves with that "distant mountain," a new world opens up to us that can become a setting of great learning and healing for us.

Working as an outdoor educator who often accompanies "city folk" into the wilderness, I always enjoy watching my students' reactions to their environment. It generally follows a somewhat predictable arc - from disgust and discomfort during the first few days to a reluctance to leave during the last few. It all makes sense in my eyes. Going from living in a house or apartment to living under a tarp; pooping in a toilet to digging a hole; eating fast food to eating dehydrated food, is understandably shocking for most and often leads to voluntary fasting and constipation among students. There are always questions about the usual suspects - "What if a bear tries to eat me?" and "What if a snake comes into my sleeping bag?" - but after a few sleepless nights, students often succumb to a sense of peace and relief that comes with living in the wilderness. In my view, they succumb to a primeval connection to a place from which they are truly inseparable - the natural world.

Once you take the extended trip into the wilderness to confront irrational fears and become comfortable with a little bit of discomfort, you may also get "stuck in the wilderness." Afterwards, you may just yearn to get back to the place where you can actually feel the evening breeze, hear the birdsong echo through the canopy, and soak in the views that can only be had by those courageous enough to walk to them. I'll see you there.

Posted by Adam Haigler

The Pioneer Project is a Gap Year Program in the USA that focuses on Homesteading, Craft, and Wilderness skills that aims to help students achieve clarity of purpose, empowerment and a sense of interdependence through community-oriented semester programs.

5 Steps Towards a Purposeful Existence

At The Pioneer Project, we aim to be a Gap Year Program that helps people find their purpose and then act accordingly to create a more fulfilling life. So why do we think this matters? Well, we believe that without purpose it is easy to waste time doing things that you don’t really want to be doing, but mysteriously feel like you have to do. We burden ourselves with self-created goals and aspirations that then may imprison us in a life we never actually wanted – especially if we haven’t taken the time to examine these aspirations carefully.

We’ve all asked ourselves how to figure out what our purpose is and been bombarded with questions about what we want to do with our lives throughout our schooling and beyond. So how do we figure this out? And once we have some idea, how do we live that purpose?

Well, here are our humble suggestions that may just give you somewhere to start. We’d love to know how you have found purpose and what you suggest we add or subtract from this list.

(ONE) Dabble in diversity

Without exposure to a wide variety of experiences, it’s easy to choose something mildly exciting from a suite of mediocre options. If, on the other hand, you find continually seek opportunities that thrust you outside of your comfort zones, all of a sudden you may stumble upon something that brings a brand new perspective and lights the way towards a whole new segment of your journey. It’s easy to get stuck in a comfortable routine, and though that can provide a sense of security, it can also limit your options in life. Remember that you don’t have to go far geographically to leave your comfort zones. Taking a class in something you’ve never explored, befriending someone from a different cultural background, even taking a different way home from work can help you break deep-seated habits that may be prohibiting you from finding your passion and your purpose – or at least knowing your options.

(TWO) Reflect on your passions

So now that you’ve enrolled in a Tai-chi class and are taking the scenic route home on your new recumbent bicycle, you then have to actually give yourself some time to reflect on how you feel about those things. We are surrounded by distractions and responsibilities that can obscure our passions from us. Though checking your phone can be important, it can also take you away from a few precious seconds of contemplation. Give yourself a daily break from all those distractions to sit, meditate, do some yoga, go on a walk, write in your journal, or do something that will allow you to connect with your deeper self so that you can think clearly about what is working and what isn’t in your life. I like to ask my students the question of "What would you do if you had all of the money and certifications you needed to do whatever you wanted?" This seems to relieve them from the worries of making a buck and refocus on their heart's desires. Without asking these tough questions and giving this time to yourself, your purpose and passion could be right under your nose without you ever giving yourself the time to smell them.

(THREE) Listen to your body

During your reflection time, you may be waiting anxiously for an epiphany about your purpose to smack you in the face and be disappointed when it doesn’t. Don’t despair! The forces of intuition can be much more subtle than you may anticipate, but will become more pronounced the more you learn to decipher the language. Your body is the instrument of your intuition and can tell you lots about what you REALLY want.

Try this…Take any big question in your life and ask it out loud to yourself. Then, as you say the different answers you are entertaining aloud to yourself one-by-one, allowing time after you say each answer, pay attention to how your body feels. Do you tense up? Do you feel at ease? Do you feel pain, nervousness, or what? Investigate each of these feelings to see what memories, thoughts, and beliefs are associated with those bodily sensations. They may be shrouded in symbolism that you have to decipher – like the pain in your stomach being represented by a spider - but can start to give you a good indication of how you really feel about certain decisions and experiences in your life. When you find one answer that feels “right” or “doubtless,” go with it and select that option, even if the logistics are frightening. The body can lead you to your passion if given the attention it deserves.

If you find it hard to connect with your body, try a practice like yoga, meditation, or Qi Gong to start tuning into yours…

(FOUR) Dare to try

Interestingly, many people have a good inkling of their passion and purpose already, but are choosing not to follow it fully. It’s scary to leave the comfort and security of a life you’ve created if it doesn’t align with your purpose. Being an attorney when you dream of traveling to Tajikistan to start a non-profit can be very difficult, especially if you need the income from your day job to pay off loans or provide for a family. But, what if you are hopelessly unhappy with your job and know that you will never forgive yourself for not trying to achieve your dream? As they say, the first step is always the longest when it comes to taking a risk. But, if you never take the risk, life can start to feel more meaningless and less vibrant. So, sit down and figure out what the first step towards your purpose would be. Our disgruntled attorney might look into visiting Tajikistan and investigate the feasibility of starting your organization there. Most importantly, commit yourself to aiming your life at your purpose and eventually manifesting your dreams. Setting that intention and acting on it step-by-step may just start a ball rolling that will clear the path towards your purpose.

(FIVE) “Hold on loosely, but don’t let go”

Once you feel that you have found your purpose after reflecting on your diverse experiences and have committed to aligning your life with it, remember that you can’t control every aspect of how your dream comes into being. We may want to plan every little detail and meticulously work at achieving our step-by-step goals, but if we aren’t careful we won’t allow enough serendipity into our lives to help us. When you commit yourself to your passion, no matter how risky it may be to follow it, the universe will always conspire on your behalf. If you spend too much time thinking about the “how” of manifesting your purpose, you may lose sight of the “what” and “why” that are the fuel for your fire. Be open to people helping you along your path and pay attention to the signs along the way. Your body can be your compass and your reflection time will help you see the map. So create your vision, be specific, work hard at it, but don’t hold on too tightly to how it will come to pass and be open to it becoming even better than you expected.

So go forth, my friends and dare to live the life you dream of! See if these tips work for you and adapt them if they don't.

Posted by Adam Haigler

The Pioneer Project is a Gap Year Program in the USA that focuses on Homesteading, Craft, and Wilderness skills that aims to help students achieve clarity of purpose, empowerment and a sense of interdependence through community-oriented semester programs.

Our Digital Debut

Welcome to our website!

We are so thrilled to announce its launch, especially after all the attention we received from our facebook page! Thank you so much!

It has been an exciting process for us, delving into the unfamiliar territory of creating a business. Yet, everything is getting done as it needs to be. Thankfully, we've been so blessed to have had such tremendous support from our families, friends, and community who have helped navigate our dream into what we are presenting to you now.

If you know any young adults or parents with young adults who might be interested in what we have to offer, please spread the word! One way to help is by liking us on Facebook and following the blog. We'll be posting updates here as we make developments over the Spring and Summer, and through the Fall when the Pioneer Project takes on its first group.

We truly appreciate all the support we've received.

With overwhelming gratitude,

Allison and Adam